I am my brother's keeper

As a kid he loved the stars. He loved the open distance between him and anything far away from where he was. First sunset he'd run upstairs to his $5.00 telescope his mom had bought him to curb his curiosity. With his head stuck in the sky.

As a kid people saw him as a misfit and by the way he was you could tell he liked it that way. Stuck inside while everything is out? No way, he had to be in the middle of it all. Everything is up for grabs, if you take it it's yours he would say, didn't matter the consequences.

I guess you can say we're alike, not alike. It wasn't sided or mixed up, it just was. He was a little cooler than I though. I was always dreaming and he was making it happen. I stayed in the books, he stayed in the streets. I wanted one girl, he wanted them all. Although we were not alike, in some way we always knew each other. You know that uneasy feeling you get when you're about to get in trouble? Or the feeling you get when you're about to get on this tall ass rollercoaster? Well imagine getting these feelings everyday at about 1,000 times greater + feelings and emotions. That's how intense it was. I knew when he was in trouble and I knew when he felt down . It was just an instinct. I can't begin to explain it at all, it is what it is. I still get these feelings because of where we both are in our lives right now and I guess that's the reason for this post. I've got this uneasy feeling and I can't shake it for nothing.

Not to get too personal on a internet "blog" but my brothers path in life hasn't been it's greatest. I love dude, with everything I am but I can't say his decisions has been the best for him...

I remember the first time we threw hands at each other. It was over my Joe DiMaggio baseball card, now any Yanks fans knows the name very well. Yes, I was a baseball nut growing up. Just about the only thing me and my father could enjoy together. My father was the biggest Yankee fan ever and I fell in line right behind him (just to give you an ounce of how important that card was to me) So my brother was being a dick and hid my cards all around the house. I had tons of them but I was searching for the most important card I had, along with Mick and Phil Rizzuto (other legends) and that was Joe. He had it in his pocket out the plastic sleve and I was going nuts. Then one thing lead to another and it gets torn in half. So I drove right into his mid section and there we were fighting in the middle of the dining room, my poor older sister trying her best to split us apart lol I remember hating this guy so much man. With that silly ass grin he had on his face when the card ripped. But the next day he bought me a Johnny Mize card, so I didn't hate him forever. I mean, it wasn't Joe, but just him feeling bad enough to try to make up for the card torn.. has never phased out of my mind all these years.

I guess that's all I have to say, for now.