Man, It's been a while since I've sat up an blogged. I guess before I was running out of things to say but since things have changed and I've got time to spare to do this, let's do this.
Like I said, things are changing, some for the better.. some for the worst. All in all I am thankful to be where I am and have a person in my life that supports me in whatever I want to do. Also some friends I've made along the way, extended family, etc. etc., their support and gratitude is never taken for granted.
And so! My birthday is around the corner, December 20th, this year. Not feeling up or down about it. Birthdays are birthdays to me now so I expect whatever to happen, happen. But I plan on doing something special for Sammy's birthday on the 18th of this year also, can not wait for that. She's a "birthday goer" person, nothing wrong with that! But she is a little more thrilled than I am when it comes to these things. But I am excited for this month, Christmas is my favorite Holiday outside of Hanukkah Lol, don't ask but I don't want much, hell, I don't ask for anything. I'll just treat myself to a nice pair of headphones! When I can... and I want to get my aunt a pressure cooker. And my cousin that new DSi XL, he has the very first Gameboy advance and a busted DS so I think this would be a nice upgrade. Tis the season!
But I'm stuck, I've been staring at this screen for too long picking my brain on what to type next. So I guess that means the ending, later.
December 9, 2010
May 11, 2010
Quickie
Today was a good day but I hate waking up early in the morning. I just dread it sometimes. Maybe it's me and my completely wreck less everyday schedule and trying to fit into my girlfriends ALSO wreck less schedule which makes my entire schedule wreck less but I don't know? I wish there was more time to be in school, have a relationship, a job and also enjoy the day. Neigh!
Also, I just found out that I have an rare phobia, I'm scared to swallow pills. I think it's spelled out like PHAGOPHOBIA or something like that but I got that. Afraid of pills, what a wussy. I am also worried my sperm is going to be very low when I decided to have kids, yeah I know.. it's all in my head but certain changes in the atmosphere can cause a low sperm count. I'm going to freeze some and store it away just in case though. I should stop further discussing the matter.
So this Summer is going to be hell but I've got to do this. I already set aside some funds for it so I can't back out now, damn I've got to call me uncle too. And finals are in the beginning of June, duck man.
Well that was my quick update, peacer.
Also, I just found out that I have an rare phobia, I'm scared to swallow pills. I think it's spelled out like PHAGOPHOBIA or something like that but I got that. Afraid of pills, what a wussy. I am also worried my sperm is going to be very low when I decided to have kids, yeah I know.. it's all in my head but certain changes in the atmosphere can cause a low sperm count. I'm going to freeze some and store it away just in case though. I should stop further discussing the matter.
So this Summer is going to be hell but I've got to do this. I already set aside some funds for it so I can't back out now, damn I've got to call me uncle too. And finals are in the beginning of June, duck man.
Well that was my quick update, peacer.
April 13, 2010
Yes indeedy wrote graffiti on the bus
School is tiring, I complain about it so much that people know when I'm about to bitch about it. That's why I can't wait for the weekends, at least I'm not stuck in some boring lecture about how the environments yaddy ya da this and yaddy ya da's that. Also, I'm sucking up gas everyday that it's cutting my expenses for play/leisure/etc. etc. Not cool, so I'm going back to the metropolitan transit bus, park up at an trans station and stroll to school on wheels. School is like 4 or something miles from the nearest T station I think. I don't know why I stopped doing it that way, I guess I got lazy. MTS here I come! Maybe get a monthly card too.
So take a listen to some Freddie Joachim. He's a local DJ in SAN DIE GO worked with The Upstarts, The Sound Providers, Surreal, Othello.. It's just so nice.. too nice to be kept to myself that is.
So take a listen to some Freddie Joachim. He's a local DJ in SAN DIE GO worked with The Upstarts, The Sound Providers, Surreal, Othello.. It's just so nice.. too nice to be kept to myself that is.
April 12, 2010
She rubs my tummy when i'm aching.
I'm real sleepy but I'm squeezing out this blog real quick before I forget. I got a doctors appointment today, hope that shit goes well. Have an on and off again pain on my side (long story short) just going to check it out. What else? I'm going to keep these short and sweet with nice tunes I likeylots til I have time to like post up the "long blogs". I'm working on a website with some friends, shit just takes forever to fix up. I hope to have it finished before my busy summer. Welp, listen to this nice track from Aviator, till then.
April 11, 2010
Today nobody cares but tommorrow they will..
Haven't had many things to write a blog about. I've been real busy with school and working every weekend and frankly, sometimes I am too lazy to even post an update or something. But I'm doing good and trying to finish out this tiring semester. I hope to update my flickr of all my work done this entire semester as well.. I've had some good inspiration and used it to it's full advantage but until then.
(Oh and I like this nice mix.)
(Oh and I like this nice mix.)
February 18, 2010
I am my brother's keeper
As a kid he loved the stars. He loved the open distance between him and anything far away from where he was. First sunset he'd run upstairs to his $5.00 telescope his mom had bought him to curb his curiosity. With his head stuck in the sky.
As a kid people saw him as a misfit and by the way he was you could tell he liked it that way. Stuck inside while everything is out? No way, he had to be in the middle of it all. Everything is up for grabs, if you take it it's yours he would say, didn't matter the consequences.
I guess you can say we're alike, not alike. It wasn't sided or mixed up, it just was. He was a little cooler than I though. I was always dreaming and he was making it happen. I stayed in the books, he stayed in the streets. I wanted one girl, he wanted them all. Although we were not alike, in some way we always knew each other. You know that uneasy feeling you get when you're about to get in trouble? Or the feeling you get when you're about to get on this tall ass rollercoaster? Well imagine getting these feelings everyday at about 1,000 times greater + feelings and emotions. That's how intense it was. I knew when he was in trouble and I knew when he felt down . It was just an instinct. I can't begin to explain it at all, it is what it is. I still get these feelings because of where we both are in our lives right now and I guess that's the reason for this post. I've got this uneasy feeling and I can't shake it for nothing.
Not to get too personal on a internet "blog" but my brothers path in life hasn't been it's greatest. I love dude, with everything I am but I can't say his decisions has been the best for him...
I remember the first time we threw hands at each other. It was over my Joe DiMaggio baseball card, now any Yanks fans knows the name very well. Yes, I was a baseball nut growing up. Just about the only thing me and my father could enjoy together. My father was the biggest Yankee fan ever and I fell in line right behind him (just to give you an ounce of how important that card was to me) So my brother was being a dick and hid my cards all around the house. I had tons of them but I was searching for the most important card I had, along with Mick and Phil Rizzuto (other legends) and that was Joe. He had it in his pocket out the plastic sleve and I was going nuts. Then one thing lead to another and it gets torn in half. So I drove right into his mid section and there we were fighting in the middle of the dining room, my poor older sister trying her best to split us apart lol I remember hating this guy so much man. With that silly ass grin he had on his face when the card ripped. But the next day he bought me a Johnny Mize card, so I didn't hate him forever. I mean, it wasn't Joe, but just him feeling bad enough to try to make up for the card torn.. has never phased out of my mind all these years.
I guess that's all I have to say, for now.
As a kid people saw him as a misfit and by the way he was you could tell he liked it that way. Stuck inside while everything is out? No way, he had to be in the middle of it all. Everything is up for grabs, if you take it it's yours he would say, didn't matter the consequences.
I guess you can say we're alike, not alike. It wasn't sided or mixed up, it just was. He was a little cooler than I though. I was always dreaming and he was making it happen. I stayed in the books, he stayed in the streets. I wanted one girl, he wanted them all. Although we were not alike, in some way we always knew each other. You know that uneasy feeling you get when you're about to get in trouble? Or the feeling you get when you're about to get on this tall ass rollercoaster? Well imagine getting these feelings everyday at about 1,000 times greater + feelings and emotions. That's how intense it was. I knew when he was in trouble and I knew when he felt down . It was just an instinct. I can't begin to explain it at all, it is what it is. I still get these feelings because of where we both are in our lives right now and I guess that's the reason for this post. I've got this uneasy feeling and I can't shake it for nothing.
Not to get too personal on a internet "blog" but my brothers path in life hasn't been it's greatest. I love dude, with everything I am but I can't say his decisions has been the best for him...
I remember the first time we threw hands at each other. It was over my Joe DiMaggio baseball card, now any Yanks fans knows the name very well. Yes, I was a baseball nut growing up. Just about the only thing me and my father could enjoy together. My father was the biggest Yankee fan ever and I fell in line right behind him (just to give you an ounce of how important that card was to me) So my brother was being a dick and hid my cards all around the house. I had tons of them but I was searching for the most important card I had, along with Mick and Phil Rizzuto (other legends) and that was Joe. He had it in his pocket out the plastic sleve and I was going nuts. Then one thing lead to another and it gets torn in half. So I drove right into his mid section and there we were fighting in the middle of the dining room, my poor older sister trying her best to split us apart lol I remember hating this guy so much man. With that silly ass grin he had on his face when the card ripped. But the next day he bought me a Johnny Mize card, so I didn't hate him forever. I mean, it wasn't Joe, but just him feeling bad enough to try to make up for the card torn.. has never phased out of my mind all these years.
I guess that's all I have to say, for now.
February 5, 2010
Another Again
It is approximately 3:31AM right now and of course, you've guessed it, I can't drift off to sleep for nothing. I took a power nap this evening, around 6 or something like that, that is why I am still up. Once again left to face the late night/early morning alone with myself.
Yesterday wasn't so bad. I got up around 6:45AM or so? Took a shower, blah blah blah, got some breakfast at Cafe La Kitchen (my kitchen) and had a big ass bowl of smackems and orange juice. Grabbed a gallon of water and headed to school. I had 2 classes today so it was pretty short. DSP103 (Design for Print II) from 8AM-10AM, a break and ENV201(Environmental Sci) from 12PM-2PM. These are Tuesday and Thurs classes only and I pretty much like the whole set up there too except this boring ENV201 class. Yes, it's pretty boring. I snooze often, not too often though! Don't want you guys thinking I'm a slacker or something. But seriously, why am I taking this class??? The teacher in this class has this crazy lisp-speech impediment thing going on too. Maybe it's my dirty mind? But when he says Best, it sounds like Breast, like for example! "Do your Breast"........... I'm like whose breast?!? I admit, it was kind of funny a week ago but now it's all sorts of confusing. Man I wish my seat was closer to the front, ohh yeah! We have high schooled assigned seats, so this A hole can remember our names. Heh.
So what else is going on with me? Honestly, nothing major as always. I like to keep my life as simple as possible now a days. Complexity just isn't my thing anymore. I feel like a ton has been lifted off my soul though. No one had caused it but myself so I guess it took myself to get it off. I mean, I'm human and I fuck up most of the time but I learn from my mistakes and in time move on. I don't hate Elizabeth, I never will (for those who've expected me to/or myself for that matter) and I guess that's because I understand her method a little bit now. I now know her intentions was the truest at times. Although she has a pretty weird way of making them clear enough for me to understand, you'd have to be involved with her for a long time to understand how her mind works. I'm not sure if I even get her completely still but for the most part, I understand. You're not Sammy, you are you and that's all that mattered really. I was a bum for saying that that the way I did, a very foul move on my part and I'm sorry BUT I wasn't looking for a woman to baby me and make me feel good like you've mentioned. I wanted someone who would inspired me to be me and be fine with me, no matter what. I thought you were that person, and I hate to say this shit or even hear you say it, but it goes back to that movie 500 DOS, you were my Summer, now she is my Autumn? =.... I guess you were right, you were just another chapter in my book. You sort of led me back to the one person I've regretted losing from the beginning though and I am happy now, she makes me very happy. I hope that makes you happy for me?
I don't know where our future falls but where ever it is I hope it ends with her. And THAT is me not caring anymore, my life, my decisions and that is what I want. She is what I want.
I hope this made some kind of sense.
It's 4AM now and I have work in 5 hours. Shit.
Yesterday wasn't so bad. I got up around 6:45AM or so? Took a shower, blah blah blah, got some breakfast at Cafe La Kitchen (my kitchen) and had a big ass bowl of smackems and orange juice. Grabbed a gallon of water and headed to school. I had 2 classes today so it was pretty short. DSP103 (Design for Print II) from 8AM-10AM, a break and ENV201(Environmental Sci) from 12PM-2PM. These are Tuesday and Thurs classes only and I pretty much like the whole set up there too except this boring ENV201 class. Yes, it's pretty boring. I snooze often, not too often though! Don't want you guys thinking I'm a slacker or something. But seriously, why am I taking this class??? The teacher in this class has this crazy lisp-speech impediment thing going on too. Maybe it's my dirty mind? But when he says Best, it sounds like Breast, like for example! "Do your Breast"........... I'm like whose breast?!? I admit, it was kind of funny a week ago but now it's all sorts of confusing. Man I wish my seat was closer to the front, ohh yeah! We have high schooled assigned seats, so this A hole can remember our names. Heh.
So what else is going on with me? Honestly, nothing major as always. I like to keep my life as simple as possible now a days. Complexity just isn't my thing anymore. I feel like a ton has been lifted off my soul though. No one had caused it but myself so I guess it took myself to get it off. I mean, I'm human and I fuck up most of the time but I learn from my mistakes and in time move on. I don't hate Elizabeth, I never will (for those who've expected me to/or myself for that matter) and I guess that's because I understand her method a little bit now. I now know her intentions was the truest at times. Although she has a pretty weird way of making them clear enough for me to understand, you'd have to be involved with her for a long time to understand how her mind works. I'm not sure if I even get her completely still but for the most part, I understand. You're not Sammy, you are you and that's all that mattered really. I was a bum for saying that that the way I did, a very foul move on my part and I'm sorry BUT I wasn't looking for a woman to baby me and make me feel good like you've mentioned. I wanted someone who would inspired me to be me and be fine with me, no matter what. I thought you were that person, and I hate to say this shit or even hear you say it, but it goes back to that movie 500 DOS, you were my Summer, now she is my Autumn? =.... I guess you were right, you were just another chapter in my book. You sort of led me back to the one person I've regretted losing from the beginning though and I am happy now, she makes me very happy. I hope that makes you happy for me?
I don't know where our future falls but where ever it is I hope it ends with her. And THAT is me not caring anymore, my life, my decisions and that is what I want. She is what I want.
I hope this made some kind of sense.
It's 4AM now and I have work in 5 hours. Shit.
January 13, 2010
"Don't make me any promises.."
Never.
I'm still having these sleepless nights, heavy. Even when I think I just might fall asleep, it just doesn't happen. I believe my mind is immensely occupied with multiple things now, school, work and other current endeavours. So maybe I should start utilizing this blog more to free up some of the space in my mind? I just hope when school begins again that the sleep lost will ease off a bit. I don't want to fall so out of it that I can't keep up with my life, work or school.
For the most part, I'm feeling a little lighter and upbeat than normal. I feel I've reached that point in my life where I can regret nothing and just start looking forward to something, anything or any one for that matter. I don't know what God has planned for me but whatever it is I'm going to savour it, take it in slow and keep it. I can't help what goes on next and that (sort of) scares me because I want to take everything in so quickly but I know I should slow it down a bit. I'm older now and I have the time and patience to do whatever deems necessary now, well I mean.. I've always had a certain degree of patience. But this is so important to me now. I will not do anything careless to hurt or misplace anything I am trying to gain back right now. I can't even make mistakes inadvertently now. That's how serious this is for me.
I just think it's crazy, how life plays out. I never once considered my world to be flipped on it's axis. I guess to sum my feelings up now, I just want something that is genuine. I mean, I don't know what forever is, but if forever is happiness, I'll take the necessary steps in preserving that for the later date. But whatever I do from now on, no bullshit and no games. I'm real good without that immature shit in my life.
Heh, I was going to add on to this but I think this will do.
I'm still having these sleepless nights, heavy. Even when I think I just might fall asleep, it just doesn't happen. I believe my mind is immensely occupied with multiple things now, school, work and other current endeavours. So maybe I should start utilizing this blog more to free up some of the space in my mind? I just hope when school begins again that the sleep lost will ease off a bit. I don't want to fall so out of it that I can't keep up with my life, work or school.
For the most part, I'm feeling a little lighter and upbeat than normal. I feel I've reached that point in my life where I can regret nothing and just start looking forward to something, anything or any one for that matter. I don't know what God has planned for me but whatever it is I'm going to savour it, take it in slow and keep it. I can't help what goes on next and that (sort of) scares me because I want to take everything in so quickly but I know I should slow it down a bit. I'm older now and I have the time and patience to do whatever deems necessary now, well I mean.. I've always had a certain degree of patience. But this is so important to me now. I will not do anything careless to hurt or misplace anything I am trying to gain back right now. I can't even make mistakes inadvertently now. That's how serious this is for me.
I just think it's crazy, how life plays out. I never once considered my world to be flipped on it's axis. I guess to sum my feelings up now, I just want something that is genuine. I mean, I don't know what forever is, but if forever is happiness, I'll take the necessary steps in preserving that for the later date. But whatever I do from now on, no bullshit and no games. I'm real good without that immature shit in my life.
Heh, I was going to add on to this but I think this will do.
January 2, 2010
......
It is crazy how we cope with the death of loved ones. On the day it happens it is tragic, it consumes your thoughts with painful memories that will never be again and then something weird happens, we move on. Some of us forget, while others hold on pushing everything else away. I don't think I did neither actually. Maybe at first I was in pain but that's normal right? Man, my mother raised one hell of a son. A guy with a heart as big as he could hold it and so stubborn that he could never let go or give up. I guess I'm the few who understands that they're truely never gone. They are physically but somehow I feel her more than ever around me. It could be a sunny summer day, the rain at my window, the smell of something sweet or my aunts laughter that reminds me of her. I like to think that all of these things are her little reminders to me that she is here with me and that she is always going to be here with me.
This year I don't want to make a new years resolution. But I do hope for slight adjustments, personal ones. I want to be closer to God. I know that seems a bit vague to some but when it comes to faith, there's pretty much no explaination needed. And also I want to understand the next person. I want to get to know a person for a person not for how they present themselves to the world, I want to understand them without them even saying a word.
Well, I enjoyed this past holiday and I am very thankful to have had the people I did have during the rough nights and bitter days. Family can drive you crazy but they are a blessing to have. That goes for some friends too.
I guess I'll leave the vacation experience for another blog post. Just thought I kill sometime since there's an hour to go til boarding. School starts on the 19th for me as well so I should get back to the habit of things back home.
This year I don't want to make a new years resolution. But I do hope for slight adjustments, personal ones. I want to be closer to God. I know that seems a bit vague to some but when it comes to faith, there's pretty much no explaination needed. And also I want to understand the next person. I want to get to know a person for a person not for how they present themselves to the world, I want to understand them without them even saying a word.
Well, I enjoyed this past holiday and I am very thankful to have had the people I did have during the rough nights and bitter days. Family can drive you crazy but they are a blessing to have. That goes for some friends too.
I guess I'll leave the vacation experience for another blog post. Just thought I kill sometime since there's an hour to go til boarding. School starts on the 19th for me as well so I should get back to the habit of things back home.
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