What comes around goes back around

I can't sleep and I haven't had a decent meal in a few days, don't worry, I'm not blaming you for my sleep deprivation and lost of appetite. That would only be giving you credit for bringing out the worse in me and according to you, you brought the best out of me huh?

I swear I never knew how the other heart felt after it has been broken. But I always figured I would when I got a little older. Not really what I had in mind for now but I guess that's life's way of telling you to grow up? See, I know I've done some outrageous things in my past, stuff I could never take back or just ease over. And I guess that's where the title of this blog comes into play, "What goes around comes back around". Man, If I am not feeling it 10 fold right now.

I thought if I wrote a blog bashing you it would make me feel better right? But honestly, it's kind of painful to do to a person you've loved. See, I can't bring myself to sit here and type up some stuff to make you feel like a horrible person. And It really pisses me off too because you can just hurt me effortlessly. We are really different huh?

So just know that at the end of the day. When you go to sleep, when you rest and close your eyes after that long hard day. You have to face yourself. Alone. Only you and (insert whatever deity you believe in) knows you.

Please, don't take this blog the wrong way. I don't want to offend you, I just wanted my own outlet. And this was it. Like I told you before I am human and I bleed, breathe, hurt just like any other person. I need the healing process too. I mess up a lot but I'll be damned if I don't ever own up to the stuff I've done. You told me to never apologize If I didn't mean it. I understand that too well right now.

So, after this blog post I will lose the bummed out feelings and just live. Blog about stuff in my life or whatever comes to mind at that time. I will sleep better and eat better. Try to salvage old friendships and be a better friend to the ones that have stuck around. Go out more, enjoy recreations with myself more. But please don't be mistaken, some of us can't just pick up and move on as quickly as others with other people involved.

But overall, I will continue to be happy with myself and who I am. And find my own sunspot in the ocean. I don't know if I'll ever come back to you or you to me, I will kind of leave that in Gods hands.

I do not regret anymore though, not a thing or a single day with you.